Thursday, April 21, 2011

I've Given Up

So after almost 8 months of failure to nurse my child, I've decided to give up trying. I'm not giving up pumping until at least a year, so at least he is still getting the very best from me.

After getting his tongue clipped, another round of crainosacral therapy, and visits with Early Childhood Intervention, it has become apparent that Aaron has "outgrown" his instinct to suck, therefore, making nursing very difficult. He has also sprouted 3 teeth and one on the way. With the fact that he bites down on anything that comes in his mouth, I wasn't about to try to nurse him with those things in there. Ouchy!

However, I am still going to continue to pump for him. It still sucks, but at least I know I am giving him 100% of what he needs. I have a goal to make it a year and I think I can do that. I've been told that once I hit a year, it might be hard for me to stop since it has become such apart of my life for 8 months. I will be gaining 3-4 hours a day by stopping, so we'll see how that works out.

I don't see this as failing completely. Even though I've failed at nursing, I have not failed in giving him what he needs. I've learned about sacrifice and love because being an exclusive pumper is a major sacrifice and, frankly, a big pain in the rear. But my child is not starving. He gets everything he needs and it a great eater when it comes to milk. He is still not eating solids right now, but I'm not worried about that. He will when he's ready and I'm not going to push him.

So there it is folks. 8 months of doctors, lactation consultants, sobbing, soreness, and other professionals, I'm ok with not trying anymore. But for people who say, "I couldn't nurse," I'm here to tell ya, neither could I, but that didn't stop me from pumping to provide for Aaron. Thankfully, I have saved our family so much money over the past 8 months because of my refusal to use formula (except for a month or 2 when my supply was super low). I'm excited to see how the next 4 months or so goes now that I've given in and am no longer stressing about whether or not Aaron will ever nurse.

Thank you to everyone who has and continues to support my decision. Nuge has been such a huge blessing. Without his support, I would not have been able to continue. Also, thank you to Le Leche League of Arlington and For Babies Sake for listening to me, letting me cry, and giving me options and support. I defiantly would have stopped pumping 7 months ago if I hadn't found yall. And to prove that Aaron isn't starving, here is a picture of my sweet little chunkers!